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Post by yurodivy on Oct 6, 2011 22:17:54 GMT -5
I know this is the name of the forum, but it is actually also my question. I do not regularly attend church. Why should I?
I know the usual answer is fellowship. But if you remove fellowship what other reason is there.
I say remove the fellowship becuase I have attempted to attend many churches over the years and none have resulted in fellowship. I fail at small groups because they are all based on emotions and sharing. I am literally at a brain lock in them and can't speak, nor can I ever think of anything to say. So I sit there and make sure my pen is symmetrically centered on the pad of paper. It's uncomfortable for all involved. Plus zoning out really isn't fellowship. If it wasn't for the door greeter I would literally go to service and leave without having a single person say anything to me. I have been to many churches over the years. Its the same experience with me everwhere.
So fellowship aside, is there another reason to attend? ( I do keep an active membership in church for the babysitting coop, but that doesn't mean I have to go)
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Post by rachel519 on Nov 12, 2011 23:10:21 GMT -5
I could think of three reasons. I hope this helps!
For me, the most important thing I get out of church is the regularity of the services. By regularity, I mean that, no matter what happens during the week, even if the week goes crazy and I forget to pray and I don't pick up my Bible all week, on Sunday mornings I will be in church and I will have a chance to draw my attention back to God. That doesn't mean that it is ok to forget about God all week except for on Sundays, but on the weeks when I do forget about Him, there is always church on Sunday to remind me.
I also benefit from the teaching in church. Of course, I can look in the Bible for myself and read other books and commentaries to learn by myself, but it is nice to be able to learn from a live pastor. I know that the pastor at church has been studying the Bible for years and knows more about the Bible than I probably ever will, so if I ever have a question, I can ask him, and he can answer my question and/or suggest where I could find the answer myself.
Another important reason to go to church is that it gives you an opportunity to serve. Maybe instead of going to "fellowship groups" and other social things that don't work, you could look for volunteer opportunities in the church. It would give you a practical reason to be in the church and also help you meet people, not within the typical "fellowship" environment.
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Post by jackmt on Jan 13, 2012 22:33:10 GMT -5
I tried many churches before my Dx and always felt like I didn't belong. I was expected to behave a certain way (perform for them) to prove I was a Christian. Offering my services was met with suspicion, as if I were going to try to scam them after gaining their trust. But scammers who smiled and acted the part were readily accepted.
I stopped going for a while. After my Dx I asked for guidance in where to go. I was invited to a bible study. I am now one of the church that meets at John and Kandi's house.
It is what I need, and it is enough for now. We study, pray, discuss, eat, fellowship, etc. I feel my input is received and appreciated.
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Post by sbs2012 on Jan 27, 2012 16:06:04 GMT -5
My main reason to go to church is to WORSHIP God...and to listen to the preacher teach God's Word...I try to get a seat where I won't be bothered with other people and spread out my "stuff" so I'm not crowded out...I have "friends" there who know I have AS and they understand my needs to be able to take notes during the service without being bothered... Fellowship takes place before and after the service in the lobby... As for my note taking I study afterwards alone, looking up the scriptures given and studying the topic of the teachings I've heard... There's been times I had to leave a service because there were people there that didn't understand my "needs" and the service was too crowded to begin with...and I didn't need a "meltdown"... I'm blessed that my church I attend has a Saturday night service that's small and I'm able relax somewhat... I used to attend Sunday mornings but it got too crowded and overwheming for me...and then there is the Sunday evening where the service is for the younger ones under 30 crowd and I get to ROCK ON!!!...It's loud and I get to scream?...lol...well sing as loud as I want to and to dance?...it's awesome!
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Post by jackmt on Jan 27, 2012 23:03:27 GMT -5
My first thought in respose to your post was that you are right, it's not about me, but God. My self-centered Aspieness made me think it was all about me.
Then I remembered finding a question hand written in a book that asked, "If God is so great, why does He need us to worship Him?" The answer, of course, is that He doesn't need us to worship Him. We need to be reminded of our need of Him. (Mt.5:3) It is all about me and my relationship with Him. Going to a building where there are hundreds of believers whom I don't know and who create anxiety and condemnation for my failure to perform to their standards, with lights and sounds that aggravate my sensory issues, etc., does not help fulfill the objective of worship. I must be about God and He will be about me.
I have a small bible study I attend where we fulfill the command to "...not forsak[e]... the assembling of ourselves together... exhorting one another...(Heb. 10:25) This is my gathering of believers.
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Post by jackmt on Jan 30, 2012 1:57:32 GMT -5
My main reason to go to church is to WORSHIP God...and to listen to the preacher teach God's Word...I try to get a seat where I won't be bothered with other people and spread out my "stuff" so I'm not crowded out...I have "friends" there who know I have AS and they understand my needs to be able to take notes during the service without being bothered... Fellowship takes place before and after the service in the lobby... As for my note taking I study afterwards alone, looking up the scriptures given and studying the topic of the teachings I've heard... There's been times I had to leave a service because there were people there that didn't understand my "needs" and the service was too crowded to begin with...and I didn't need a "meltdown"... I'm blessed that my church I attend has a Saturday night service that's small and I'm able relax somewhat... I used to attend Sunday mornings but it got too crowded and overwheming for me...and then there is the Sunday evening where the service is for the younger ones under 30 crowd and I get to ROCK ON!!!...It's loud and I get to scream?...lol...well sing as loud as I want to and to dance?...it's awesome! By the way, welcome!
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Post by bobnelson on Feb 16, 2012 10:31:14 GMT -5
yurodivy asks a very tough question. It is too easy to give a pat answer - "You're supposed to go" or "don't forsake fellowship of believers" etc.
I know I went to one church for about two years and never felt connected. I then went to another place for over 20 years mostly because my wife liked it there. I played the 'religion game' for 2-3 hours every Sunday morning, but gradually my heart was growing colder and colder as I checked out on God for 20 years.
What is interesting is that when I came back to the Lord about two years ago, the place God had prepared for me was the same place I had played the religion game at for 20 years. I have made friends (or at least what I think are friends) through a Monday evening "Recovery" ministry where everyone there is recovering from some sort of issue in their life. Nobody is trying to put on airs with anybody else and no one feels or acts superior to anyone else. I lovingly refer to Monday nights as "no BS Christianity". Unfortunately it is very rare to find "no BS Christianity". It is the pearl of great price and it is worth everything it takes to find it.
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Post by sbs2012 on Apr 25, 2012 20:59:38 GMT -5
Lately, I've been without "fellowship" at the church I attend weekly...I watch what goes on and I feel like I don't belong...I'm not included with any of the small groups that have formed over the months of being there...I sort of lost interest in being at the church since most of the members don't understand what an Aspie is and could care less about me as an Aspie...I'm tired of not being accepted for who I am as an Aspie...They have a guy who is a counselor and he has no idea of what an Aspie is...I've asked for spiritual help but it doesn't seem I'll get it from this so-called, Care Ministry they have...now what?....
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Post by Sabertooth on Apr 30, 2012 9:53:14 GMT -5
Lately, I've been without "fellowship" at the church I attend weekly...I watch what goes on and I feel like I don't belong...I'm not included with any of the small groups that have formed over the months of being there...I sort of lost interest in being at the church since most of the members don't understand what an Aspie is and could care less about me as an Aspie...I'm tired of not being accepted for who I am as an Aspie...They have a guy who is a counselor and he has no idea of what an Aspie is...I've asked for spiritual help but it doesn't seem I'll get it from this so-called, Care Ministry they have...now what?.... You have to ask yourself two questions: - Is this the church where you best belong/fit/are needed?
- Do they know the baptism of the Holy Spirit? Spiritual gifts (like discerning of spirits, for instance) tend to make a body more receptive of who we are.*
I wouldn't leave a church over occasional conflict, but I do need a sense of belonging. *Asperger referred to us as "little professors," but I think, in the Church, we are more typically come off as "little prophets..." " Do not rebuke a mocker or he will hate you; rebuke a wise man and he will love you.
Instruct a wise man and he will be wiser still; teach a righteous man and he will add to his learning." Prov. 9:8, 9
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Post by sbs2012 on May 5, 2012 20:08:21 GMT -5
I applied for a paying job at the Church and was honest about being an "Aspie" and it wasn't quite "accepted"?...I didn't get the job...
...I had to leave the last church I attended due to being "bullied" by some guy who wanted a wife so badly, he wouldn't leave the single women alone...He was mad I "rejected" him...I told the pastor and they did nothing about it and I was treated like I was the problem...
I've attended a church that meets on Tuesday nights and the pastor there calls me, "little theologian" since I've always researching Biblical knowledge on the internet...There's about eight people who attend the service, we're able to challenge the pastor and each other cause he allows it during the service...
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Post by Sabertooth on May 8, 2012 12:39:52 GMT -5
... I've attended a church that meets on Tuesday nights and the pastor there calls me, "little theologian" since I've always researching Biblical knowledge on the internet...There's about eight people who attend the service, we're able to challenge the pastor and each other cause he allows it during the service... How very Berean...!
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joker
New Member
Posts: 10
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Post by joker on Jul 2, 2012 19:05:31 GMT -5
I go to a Church that is like a family. My second family that is. Also they don't look down on me. For having Asperger Syndrome I am a youth minister. At my church helping spread God's message. I attend church because it's my deputy not only as a christian. But as a fellow church goer. I love my church I attend Hopwell united methodist church.
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