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Post by jackmt on Jan 14, 2012 1:53:25 GMT -5
An old man had written his autobiography which was to be made into a movie. He hired a woman to find well known actors to portray him at various times in his life. She went about Hollywood talking to everyone about the man's life and his movie. She came back to him and said "Great news! I got Keanu Reaves to play you in your younger years, Michael Palin for your middle years, and Woody Allen in your old age!" The man became enraged and fired her on the spot. Stunned, she asked why. He said, "You've been going around town casting Aspergians on my character!"
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Post by jackmt on Jan 14, 2012 1:57:29 GMT -5
How many Aspies does it take to change a lightbulb?
1. Just me.
2. Aspies don't change anything.
3. You don't change a lightbulb, you replace it.
3a. You do if you paint it blue!
4. ?...
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Post by jackmt on Jan 14, 2012 1:58:57 GMT -5
Did you know that if you counted all the flowers on your wallpaper and divided by the square feet of the wall, you're probably autistic?
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Post by jackmt on Jan 14, 2012 5:00:26 GMT -5
Autistic kids rock!
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Post by jackmt on Jan 14, 2012 13:06:26 GMT -5
Autism is discrimination based on car.
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Post by jackmt on Jan 15, 2012 23:34:37 GMT -5
How can you tell an extroverted Aspie from an introverted one? The extrovert stares at your shoes while you're talking to him.
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Post by jackmt on Jan 31, 2012 1:08:19 GMT -5
Aspie. Isn't that a little snake?
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Post by jackmt on Feb 26, 2012 22:08:24 GMT -5
Striking up conversations with strangers is the autistic version of extreme sport.
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Post by jackmt on May 4, 2012 22:25:47 GMT -5
There are 3 main subtypes of Asperger's: the first, typified by the rude pedant who is always showing off his knowledge and correcting you, is known as Pain-in-the-Asperger's Syndrome; the second, typified by the guy who would rather chase girls than debate the relative merits of String Theory, is known as Aspervert's Syndrome; the third, typified by the guy who doesn't care how you're doing but just wants the facts, is known as Joe Friday Syndrome.
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Post by Stephanie Mayberry on May 29, 2012 20:20:25 GMT -5
OK, these are really funny! Thanks for the laugh! LOL
Got anymore?
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Post by Sabertooth on May 30, 2012 1:59:58 GMT -5
Q: "Why shouldn't people be so hard on Aspies when they make a social faux pas...?"  A: "Because they have autistic license...!"  |
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Post by jackmt on Jun 11, 2012 0:50:33 GMT -5
An Aspie Dx is a license to be rude, after all!
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Post by jackmt on Jun 18, 2012 1:52:46 GMT -5
A 4th subtype of Asperger's has been identified. It is typified by the guy who starts dozens of projects, but can't seem to finish any of them. It is known as Half-Asperger's Syndrome.
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