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Post by sbs2012 on Mar 7, 2012 0:13:41 GMT -5
I have tried to explain my AS to my church friends but they don't want to "hear" it. They don't care to understand who I am with AS. I don't belong since I have problems with understanding relationships. They have their own little groups and I don't know how to be part of these groups. I get bored with listening to some of their "stupid" talk when they can't accept me when I've explained my AS problems with them. I am so "frustrated"...
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Post by jackmt on Mar 7, 2012 19:14:25 GMT -5
When you say "friends" do you really mean "acquaintances?" Remember that 1 in 300 people have what you have and many of them are not compatible with you for many reasons. I had to "bounce off" hundreds of people to find one I could stand to be with.
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Post by jesusfreak2012 on Mar 7, 2012 23:25:58 GMT -5
Have you tried to understand them or are you just looking for your own needs to be met? For even the Son of Man came not to be served but to serve others and to give his life as a ransom for many
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Post by jackmt on Mar 8, 2012 0:01:17 GMT -5
Have you tried to understand them or are you just looking for your own needs to be met? For even the Son of Man came not to be served but to serve others and to give his life as a ransom for many One may serve without being intimate with those served. It is legitimate to desire true friendship. |
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Post by jesusfreak2012 on Mar 8, 2012 11:02:40 GMT -5
So the point is to be intimate or not? True friendship involves intimacy, and serving requires understanding the other person needs. We process feelings through our heads, struggle with social cues and need to work hard to identify our own feelings but that doesn't mean we can't have relationships with people and it's not a legitimate excuse to stop interacting with people especially of God has called us to serve people. He allows those struggles so that we can depend on Him and glorify Him. Subsititute Aspergers for Paul's thorn in 2Cor12:
"7 To keep me from becoming conceited ... there was given me a thorn in my flesh, a messenger of Satan, to torment me. 8 Three times I pleaded with the Lord to take it away from me. 9 But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me. 10 That is why, for Christ’s sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong"
For the original question, I think to have a friend means you need to be a friend first.
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Post by sbs2012 on Mar 9, 2012 16:46:32 GMT -5
It has nothing to do about serving others... I have problems with noises...I hear everything as if the volume of the world is turned on "LOUD"...I have tried to explain that I hear more than a "normal" person does...I sit in the back row so no one sits behind me so that I don't get bother by voices behind me... I have enough problems staying focus on the Preacher up front when others take to talking to one another in the seats in front of me...and if that's not enough, a person opening a candy wrapper or "clicking" a pen distracts me as well...need I say more?...and the "gossip" I hear that is none of my business is another issue...I hear people across the room talking without even trying... During the service, I take notes and follow along in the Bible, trying to "tune" out the distractions...but it doesn't always work... My other senses get overwhemed as well in crowds of people... Last thing I want to do is wear ear plugs, nose plugs, and wrap myself in bubble wrap just so I don't get overwhemed...I would look silly that way avoiding what bothers me...  |
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Post by jackmt on Mar 10, 2012 2:11:53 GMT -5
I used to sit in the back and run out when it was time for the greeting and leave as soon as the service was over. Once, the woman in front of me had a tag hanging out of her blouse, and the woman in front of her had an uneven haircut. I could not pay attention to the sermon and couldn't even recall what it was about.
I call my regular bible study my church. We have an excellent teacher and regular members we get to know and enjoy. It is not stressful, as is "regular" church and the benefits are greater than I get there.
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Post by Sabertooth on Mar 10, 2012 5:39:00 GMT -5
Whenever it seems like the other person doesn't want to hear a detailed explanation, I just tell them I am mildly autistic. If they want to know more, they'll ask. If they don't, they might just cut me some slack.
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